&story;

We were naked in the dark, chasing fireflies and wiping wet grass off our feet. We took turns falling on our faces — on our backs. We laughed so loud. We sang so loud the leaves fell off their branches and made puddles on the ground for us to hide in. We buried ourselves under their spiky stems and crunchy skins, camouflaged with our soft, brown skin. We were warm. Our fingers were magnets always reaching for each other or stuck to something else cold. Our fingers were vines twisting, entangled, and clingy. Our fingers wrote messages in the dirt and in the air: lyrics from acoustic songs, lines from favorite movies that made us feel, words we wanted to yell at the people in our lives, words we wanted to whisper into the other. When the moon disappeared we climbed up the silhouette trees and strung pictures from one accusing top to another. We dug holes into the sky and filled them with black glitter. We scratched our autographs under the tiny speck we thought was Saturn then watched the fireflies beneath us dance in circles faster and faster and faster and faster and faster until we grew dizzy and let go. We were never naked; we were vulnerable.

walking to the gym,
typing with one hand,
turning off the light,
turning en pointe,
dropping eggs,
dropping hints,
growing squash,
growing beans,
buying all 12 boxes of store brand rice krispies,
buying,
inflating a dozen balloons,
wrapping,
transporting them in garbage bags instead of tying knots,
walking to the mini-van,
typing a tear stained letter,
turning away,
turning on the fan,
dropping pillows into the foyer,
dropping a trail of stones into the kitchen,
growing anger,
growing fear,
buying an electric scooter,
buying,
scratching two lottery tickets,
ripping,
tearing them into fourths instead of folding,
walking to edge of the sand,
typing on a typewriter,
turning into a castle,
turning into a moat,
dropping limbs like dripping batter,
dropping hair follicles,
growing distance,
growing seagull feathers,
buying as many loaves of the most expensive bread that can fit in my arms,
squishing slices into cubes,
spheres,
stuffing them into my mouth like marshmallows instead of feeding birds,
walking to the beat of a recorded heart,
typing the alphabet to learn,
turning to face the moon,
turning the moon to face the earth,
dropping comets,
dropping chunks of ice,
growing ennui,
growing fingernails over an inch,
buying wood stain,
buying a naked bookshelf,
rearranging the shelves to hang vertically like dull wind chimes,
walking knee deep in the river,
typing with fat fingers on a tiny screen,
turning a person into the idea of a person,
turning a memory into a rock in my stomach,
dropping sweat,
dropping knees,
growing resentment,
growing loss,
buying two boxes of twenty-four cans of cat food,
buying can openers,
stringing them by the handles,
watching them twist in the air instead of unlocking soup,

typing a tear stained letter,
turning away,
turning on the fan,
dropping pillows into the foyer,
dropping a trail of stones into the kitchen,
growing anger,
growing fear,
buying an electric scooter,
buying,
scratching two lottery tickets,
ripping,
tearing them into fourths instead of folding,
walking to edge of the sand,
typing on a typewriter,
turning into a castle,
turning into a moat,
dropping limbs like dripping batter,
dropping hair follicles,
growing distance,
growing seagull feathers,
buying as many loaves of the most expensive bread that can fit in my arms,
squishing slices into cubes,
spheres,
stuffing them into my mouth like marshmallows instead of feeding birds,
walking to the beat of a recorded heart,
typing the alphabet to learn,
turning to face the moon,
turning the moon to face the earth,
dropping comets,
dropping chunks of ice,
growing ennui,
growing fingernails over an inch,
buying wood stain,
buying a naked bookshelf,
rearranging the shelves to hang vertically like dull wind chimes,
walking knee deep in the river,
typing with fat fingers on a tiny screen,
turning a person into the idea of a person,
turning a memory into a rock in my stomach,
dropping sweat,
dropping knees,
growing resentment,
growing loss,
buying two boxes of twenty-four cans of cat food,
buying can openers,
stringing them by the handles,
watching them twist in the air instead of unlocking soup,
walking to the gym,
typing with one hand,
turning off the light,
turning en pointe,
dropping eggs,
dropping hints,
growing squash,
growing beans,
buying all 12 boxes of store brand rice krispies,
buying,
inflating a dozen balloons,
wrapping,
transporting them in garbage bags instead of tying knots,
walking to the mini-van,

walking to the gym,
typing with one hand,
turning off the light,
turning en pointe,
dropping eggs,
dropping hints,
growing squash,
growing beans,
buying all 12 boxes of store brand rice krispies,
buying,
inflating a dozen balloons,
wrapping,
transporting them in garbage bags instead of tying knots,
walking to the mini-van,
typing a tear stained letter,
turning away,
turning on the fan,
dropping pillows into the foyer,
dropping a trail of stones into the kitchen,
growing anger,
growing fear,
buying an electric scooter,
buying,
scratching two lottery tickets,
ripping,
tearing them into fourths instead of folding,
walking to edge of the sand,
typing on a typewriter,
turning into a castle,
turning into a moat,
dropping limbs like dripping batter,
dropping hair follicles,
growing distance,
growing seagull feathers,
buying as many loaves of the most expensive bread that can fit in my arms,
squishing slices into cubes,
spheres,
stuffing them into my mouth like marshmallows instead of feeding birds,
walking to the beat of a recorded heart,
typing the alphabet to learn,
turning to face the moon,
turning the moon to face the earth,
dropping comets,
dropping chunks of ice,
growing ennui,
growing fingernails over an inch,
buying wood stain,
buying a naked bookshelf,
rearranging the shelves to hang vertically like dull wind chimes,
walking knee deep in the river,
typing with fat fingers on a tiny screen,
turning a person into the idea of a person,
turning a memory into a rock in my stomach,
dropping sweat,
dropping knees,
growing resentment,
growing loss,
buying two boxes of twenty-four cans of cat food,
buying can openers,
stringing them by the handles,
watching them twist in the air instead of unlocking soup,

Three flights ago I was flying above a mountain range where the trees were so tiny I’m sure if you sneezed, they would have scattered like spit.Two fights ago you pinched me so hard I became a statue tense with the desire to punch a crater in your thigh. For all the analogies and metaphors we make comparing sections of our bodies to the sections of the earth- we haven’t seen that much. We’ve never climbed to the peaks of our mountain nipples nor seen the cracked and glowing fingers of lava nor sled down the continental slope in between our lungs. We breathe smoke: I breathe it out, you breathe it in-and when we pick flowers to decorate our toenails we pick apart their petals searching for the how and why they form the form they do. Why a radiating mandala instead of a straight line from a to b to z. When we wander, we always find the trails lined with love letters and dead grass oragamied into crosses, baskets, bridges for bright red ants. We always find a clearing where we always lie down and watch planes crash through clouds and make bets about when it will be our turn.